A certain bug showed up to Oxnard. It was actually a little late arriving, considering the Cowboys have been at training camp for a few days already. He must have lost his luggage at LAX, I’ve heard that happens a lot there.
That particular bug didn’t waste any time at picking a first victim, a couple of fresh-meat rookies out of Stanford and Texas Tech. Ben Gardner (Stanford) had the bug get his shoulder and Will Smith (Texas Tech) had the bug get his groin. But the third victim is a victim the bug seems to love more than anyone else. You know him, we all love him, but we’ve rarely seen him. That’s right Cowboy fans – The most talked about Cowboys player to have never taken a snap in a regular season game in his three years: Matt The Unicorn Johnson.
Johnson injured his hamstring (seems to be the favorite part for the bug) once again in day 4 of training camp. But in all seriousness folks, you have to hate it for this guy and really for the team as well.
Johnson spent another entire offseason working his tail off to make sure his body would hold up to the rigors of training camp and a full season of football. So you can’t say the guy doesn’t try. And he must really have some talent if the team continues to keep him around. I’ve been watching football and the Dallas Cowboys since I was about seven years of age. So doing a little math, that’s been almost thirty-five years of watching this game. And not one time can I remember this team giving a player, a mid-round draft choice, so many chances to get healthy and have a real chance at making this team.
Jerry Jones & Co. must really think this kid has a lot to offer (even though WR Mike Sherrard, out of UCLA in the late 1980’s, did get a couple of chances after breaking his leg twice).
But the bug didn’t stop there; the bug decided the hamstring from Matty J. wasn’t enough. He visited first-year Cowboys defensive tackle Terrell McClain, and took a chomp out of his ankle. However it’s been reported the injury isn’t serious and he shouldn’t miss much time, if any time at all. Bruce Carter was also touched, although the bug didn’t seem to care for Bruce much. Bruce had a slight tightness in his upper thigh but he was able to return to the practice field.
The bug visited Jeff Heath and his wrist, too. But like Carter, Heath was able to get some bug spray and return to the field. DeVonte Holloman was thought to have really been affected by the bug, but he was just dehydrated and was able to return to the field.
The injury bug has already made itself known in just the fourth day of training camp and chances are, it won’t leave the team any time soon. Hopefully Jerry will buy a whole jug of super-strength bug spray or a Texas-sized flyswatter to prevent any real damage to this team.
This was by far the most creative, witty, and down right funniest article I ever read. How no comments are here yet is beyond me. The Arthur of this piece is pure genius I tell you. GENIUS !!!!